Shoulda been protected from doing this ad

“Hello, is this Levi?”

“No, this is his dad.”

“May we please speak to Levi?”

“LEVI! PHONE!”

“Uh, hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Johnston?”

“Yeah…”

“We’re from the American Pistachio Board, and we’d like to talk to you about doing a national television ad for us. Do you like pistachios, Levi?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“Good, good. We can hook you up with a lifetime supply, you know. Not a lotta pistachios up there in Alaska, are there?”

“I dunno, actually -”

“No, wouldn’t think so, they grow in warmer climes. Down here in California, for instance. Must be gettin’ cold up there these days, son; how’d ya like to fly down to LA and shoot a little spot for us? Hang out on the beach, chase a little tail…”

“Okay, yeah, I guess so.”

---

We can only assume the ad below began with a conversation like the one above, and that all Levi had to do to cash in on the Pistachio Board’s millions was sell out what little dignity he had. If this kid had anybody looking out for him, perhaps they would have advised him not to appear in a campaign with the words “protection” and “nuts.”

Then again, if he had anybody looking out for him, we probably wouldn’t even know his name, would we?

Tags: ad, levi johnston, marketing, palin, pistachios